Hi! It’s Aunt Nicole!
In the summer of 2021, I decided it was time to open a private practice. After 20 years in health care, I wanted to expand my scope and spend more time with clients, supporting them in a different way than a medical setting would allow. I joined a local networking group and learned about an open house for therapists to share office space. I walked in, loved it, met Anna who was hosting the event and signed up that day. I wrote my therapist profile that night. Little did I know I was the first to sign up with the space.
Over time, I was able to grow my practice while working full time. Eventually, I resigned from my job and started seeing clients in person in that beautiful space that had grown from an idea to several therapists and now has 6 locations.
I’m a cheerleader (not that kind – no coordination). I want to see people succeed and celebrate their success. My colleague Julia, an anthropologist and therapist, called me a gatherer once. The “there’s always room for 1 more at the table” person. I like to see work and growth and meaning especially when people try to do something and after some challenges, find success. In that vein, I like to think a supportive word or comment is helpful. Apparently that’s how I earned my nickname.
I became known in the office as Aunt Nicole. Described as the aunt who will buy your homemade jewelry, support whatever you want to do and lend a positive comment. The first time the name was shared with me I laughed so hard because I heard how genuine it was. Surrounding myself with hilarious people is a life goal. We need to laugh, use humor and generally roll our eyes at nonsense. I think Anna knew she could call me Aunt Nicole, and I would take it as a compliment. Not because I’m the old, cranky (debatable) Aunt who drinks and smokes or will break you out of jail when you’re afraid to call your parents. I’m more – drink responsibly, don’t smoke because…gross and yes, call me if you only have 1 call from jail and you need me to help soften the blow to your parents. In real life, I have 3 wonderful nieces with amazing parents.
Who else is Aunt Nicole? She’s sassy, loves hard, is fiercely loyal, values kindness, uses (mostly) well timed swear words (unapologetically), gives free hugs, laughs at herself, will feed you but also lovingly yell at you to get your shit together and pull yourself up. A Gen-Xer with boundaries and a “whatever” attitude. Anna and I decided maybe Aunt Nicole is an alter ego to Maxine from the Hallmark cards - minus the gray hair and caustic attitude.
I have a long list titled “things I can’t wait to do” that’s added to regularly. Starting a blog was decidedly NOT on that list. However, over the last year, ideas and topics started to buzz around in my head. One day last year, I posted on social media about having a hard day and my cure was taking back grocery shopping from my son who had been doing it since he returned home from college. I joked maybe I’d start a blog.
A dedicated yogi, I often lay on my yoga mat in a darkened room during shavasana, getting my zen on. My mind will wander, and I let it wander and then return to the quiet. Topics and sentences pop in. If I remember anything once I leave the studio, I write it down. If not, I trust it will eventually return. The blog topic list is long and growing as life continues to be life. I will run with it as long as it feels instinctual and right.
I’m not for everyone. My style and humor won’t always resonate with some and that’s ok. So why write a blog? To share observations, thoughts on how we relate, a raw conversation that hits therapeutic topics while being down to earth and highlighting things that are important to me, what a Gen X view of the world is while raising Gen Z as a single mom of 3. As a therapist, I hold space for clients when they are in pain, grieving or sharing their most vulnerable parts. I heard someone say once those who have been wounded hold the fiercest hope for others. I also saved a quote that said, “share your story, it may be someone’s survival guide.” Protecting confidentiality is core to what I do so any stories I share will be a version of my own mixed in with real life interactions and masked to not identify anyone or any situation. After all, many experiences are relatable and reading about something may be the validation someone needs that day. It should also be said that Therapist Nicole and Aunt Nicole are very similar but with striking differences based on a code of ethics. I bring myself and my humor to sessions but also my therapeutic hat including social work values, integrity for the profession and boundaries.
I am not an expert on anything, but I am passionate about helping people and have lived professional and personal experience. I plan on highlighting books, podcasts, TEDtalks, people I follow who write beautiful content, colleagues and kick-ass therapists. A space where I won’t take myself seriously, but may share a nugget, resource or definition that may help someone. Or perhaps, a laugh. If you need a therapist, I’m also happy to make connections. I can’t, and won’t, see someone I know. As referenced above, it’s a code of ethics/dual relationship kinda thing.
Early beta testers of this blog post include my 3 children (my greatest supporters and also very honest critics), a few brutally honest people close to me (I asked!) and some willing and supportive colleagues. My main question was…does this sound like me?
In the meantime, I’m 4 years in my shared office space. A few months ago, I found the first invoice from the office in my desk drawer. The date was 9/14/2021. The invoice number was 0000001. Proves I am The OG. Thanks Anna and Jim!
Love, Aunt Nicole
